Do you have a toxic parent?
Hey you guys, I'm shifting my focus. I'm going to be talking about something that is near and dear to my heart. Overcoming the emotional pain of childhood trauma.
If you're like me, you had/have one or both parents that are toxic. Life as the child of a toxic parent is beyond miserable, even if you are now an adult child, the emotional pain never seems to go away. Are you a victim of Toxic Parent Syndrome (TPS)?
Well into my 50's, I would find myself asking, "What did I ever do to deserve this?" I was referring to the way I was treated and the level of emotional pain I continued to experience. I would wonder why my sibling was praised while I was belittled and berated. Most of my life I turned to numbness to get through the day. I've gone through my numb-inducing habits over the years which would show up as eating too much, drinking too much, and at one point in my life, doing too many drugs - just to stop the emotional pain.
Toxic parents have the ability to create all sorts of faulty programming that we come to believe. They can make us feel unworthy of love, money or other material goods. They can have us doubt ourselves when we should be able to trust ourselves. They can create the situation where we feel so low that we don't even know how to validate ourselves, we don't know how to feel deserving, and we certainly never feel "good enough" in so many areas of our lives.
How do you know if your parent falls into the category of a toxic parent? Here are just a few ways. See if any of these feel familiar to you:
1. You don't feel respected - their needs always come first, yours are often ignored.
2. They make unreasonable, often frequent demands - sometimes using emotional blackmail.
3. They shame, blame and complain about you - to you and to others.
4. Nothing is ever their fault -it's always someone else's responsibility.
5. They criticize you and constantly compare you to others - never do you receive a compliment.
6. They do not respect your boundaries - not physical ones nor emotional ones.
Again, these are just a *few* ways in which TPS can affect your life.
If you are dealing with TPS (Toxic Parent Syndrome), I want you to know that you are not alone, none of it is your fault, and there is nothing wrong with you. To learn more, I'd like to invite you to join my free, private fb group called "Awesome on the Inside"where many topics are discussed, but they all relate to feeling better about ourselves by looking inside of ourselves which is truly the only place that can actually make a difference.
Here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/AwesomeOnTheInside/
I hope you'll join us!
Sending you huge hugs and big love,