The Fear of Sitting With Your Pain.
Hello sweet Miracle Makers,
Sitting with your pain.
What? Why would anyone choose to sit with their pain? Ugh! That sounds horrible! And, honestly, it can be. It can be emotionally retching, and even physically so uncomfortable that we step back away from it and refuse to feel it. We all have pain, and we will do almost anything not to feel pain, from drinking or drugging to over or under-eating, to sexual acting out, and for some, even suicide. What no one seems to tell us is what to do with that pain and how to move through the pain, and then what incredible benefits we will derive from experiencing that pain. Almost no one will willingly place their hand on a hot stove. That would be crazy! And yet when we ask people to sit with their pain, or just feel through the pain, it's akin to sticking your hand on a hot stove. But what if there was a plan, a formula if you will, a guide that you can read in advance, understand, realize the significance of experiencing that pain, and then how to handle it afterwards .... and with the guarantee, the unmitigated assurance that you *will* feel lighter, freer, happier, all because of dealing with the discomfort.
Think of this .... Take a rock. A substantial one. One that is about 5 pounds. Put it in a bag with handles and a strap. Hold it. Hold it with your right hand and when it gets heavy switch to your left. When it gets too heavy for your left, put the strap on one shoulder, then the other. Then, maybe hoist it up on top of one shoulder, on your head, on top of the other shoulder, and again back in your hand. Get a backpack and put it in there. When that gets too heavy, switch the backpack to the front and carry it there. When that gets too heavy, get a friend. Ask your friend to hold one handle while you hold the other. After they tire of that, put the rock back on your shoulder. Continue this process for the rest of your life. Or..................... 1. Sit with the pain – it’s hard, do it anyway. 2. Allow the inner child to cry and cry and wail at the injustice. 3. Seek out and remember the first time(s) you experienced this pain. 4. Think of all the reasons why this should not have happened (not your fault). 5. Turn your attention from what was to where/who you want to be,
and don't ... look ... back. 6. Live freer! Live happier! Live with joy! Live with peace!
I've done this work. I've done it several times about different things. I've had to find the time, or take the time. I've had to really feel the emotional pain, along with the tears, the snot, the sobs, the wailing, the rocking. It hurts ... bad! And when it's been over, and I've hugged myself, and I've finally gone to the bathroom and cleaned myself up, I am changed forever. Each time I had come to a place where I knew, deep down inside, that the pain was holding me back, I also somehow knew that I had the strength necessary to get through to the other side. Every single time I am blown away, amazed, shocked and surprised at the level of relief I feel when it is over.
My wish for you is to recognize that you too have the strength to sit with the pain, and then move past it .... and the promise is that you will never regret it ..... never!
Huge hugs and big love,
P.S. The quote is from HeatherAsh Amara, author of "Warrior Goddess Training", quite an amazing read, highly recommended for those of you looking for how to transform yourself.